It is a sign of maturity to be able to respect, value and relate to those who think differently.

Unresolved conflict has the potential to undermine the spiritual life and growth not only of the individuals concerned, but also of the whole church, which can suffer from being consciously or unconsciously caught up in the issues. Furthermore, the gospel is discredited, for it becomes evident to everyone that the claims made for the gospel have not been worked out in that situation.

We also need to remember that sad fact that some people have a vested interest in resisting change, for it is in the status quo that they have recognition, power and influence. They simply do not want to lose it, so they fight to defend what they are secure with. In this context conflict is almost inevitable.

The really important thing is to know the difference between primary issues of principle and matters that are secondary. When our theological perspective is so all-consuming that we cannot relate to those who think differently, even though they might be as committed as we are to gospel principles, surely we have lost something of our focus on the wider church and the greater fact that together we are part of God’s kingdom …Bible truth is not an end in itself. Its ultimate purpose is to enable us to grow into Christ-likeness.

In many instances. The chronic power broker’s life becomes one of self-defence and reaction as they read almost every situation they face in the light of their own sense of non-acceptance. Falling naturally into negative thinking, it is also easy for power brokers to embrace a legalistic view of the gospel that demands constant performance in order to be acceptable to God.

The issue for most churches is not whether they will have to come to grips with change, but how they respond to its inevitability.

So why is it that we as church leaders and individual Christians are so willing to leave conflict unchallenged? Indeed, why is it that in most of our churches and Christian organisations there are unresolved issues that we readily admit hinder the work of the gospel, and yet we fail to address them?

But if forgiving is not forgetting, then what is it? Forgiveness is choosing to refuse to allow what others have done to hinder our moving on in our spiritual, emotional and relational lives. If or when some of the old feelings return, this does not mean the original forgiveness was not real.

It is true that we can do nothing to change the things that happened to us in the past, but it is also true that being created in the image of God means that we have that special characteristic of choice. So we can choose to refuse to allow the consequences of those things to govern our lives in the present.

If we view God in a positive light and truly believe he is unqualified in his commitment to us, we will interpret the difficulties we encounter as a normal part of life in a fallen world, rather than feeling especially singled out for them. We can then confirm our confidence and dependence on him and with thankful hearts begin to find a freedom from the negatives that can only further erode our confidence in who we are and why we exist.